Andy Gapin Instagram

Flying minds…

September 20, 2007 - 9:45 am

If you could choose between being able to fly or read minds, which would you choose?

This was the question that was proposed today on a message board that I read. And weirdly, it’s something that I often think about. To me the answer is a no brainer. Fly. I’ll get to the reasons why being able to fly would be awesome in a moment, but first I’ll reveal how much of a nutcase I am and why I would NOT want to be able to read minds.

Being able to read peoples’ minds would be cool as hell at first. You could really mess with people and get away with all kinds of stuff. Imagine how good you’d be at poker. You could probably make a living off it and quit your day job! And even better than that, you could instantly tell if a girl was into you or not instead of trying to decipher all the games and mind tricks. But this would get old fast. I would imagine that 95% of what you would be reading from other peoples’ minds would be utterly disturbing as all hell. There is a reason why we (well most of us) have the ability to think things without saying them.

I catch myself thinking all the time, “I REALLY hope no one around here can read minds because what I just thought about is some really weird shit.” I refuse to believe that most people aren’t like this too. I think about some really weird shit. Most of the time it’s not even intentional. I’ll just be minding my own business and then BAM! weirdo thoughts jump into my head. I’m not going to go into detail about them, but let’s just say that some are so weird that I’m embarrassed to have even thought about them even though I know no one even knows that I did.

Let’s move on to flying. If I could fly, I would have so much more free time. I’m not asking to be able to fly fast, we’ll just say like 65mph. Since the shortest distance between any two points is a straight line, you’d first have a shorter distance to travel. And second, you wouldn’t have to deal with traffic, shitty drivers, or potholes. It would be my personal heaven.

My ten mile drive to work would be reduced from a half hour down to ten minutes, giving me an extra twenty minutes of sleep every morning.

Sure, you might be saying that the elements would take their toll on you and you’d probably be right. Flying wouldn’t be for all situations. In the dead of winter or the melt your face off days of summer, a car may still be a better solution, but for most days in between it would be excellent.

Now…time to figure out how to get my fly on…


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