This picture was taken from one of those love tester machines at the bar that my coworkers like to go to for happy hour on Fridays. Am I the only one that takes issue with the scale used here? How is “wild” only a single step up from “mild?” That doesn’t seem right at all. The words’ meanings are much more than a flip of the letter ‘M’ away from each other. I think “wild” should be all the way up above passionate.
And also, I’m not so sure that “burning” should be on a love testing machine. I mean, unless you are considering Chlamydia to be a good thing.
Someone posted this graph to GraphJam just recently…
However, I made the below graph which I believe is a way more accurate. Please click on it and vote for it!
Alright, it’s not the only reason why I like doing software development for a living, but it definitely helps. When I have to create fake data to test something, I try to have a little fun with it and things like this happen…
For yet another regular update that I want to post here, I decided that I’m going to start posting overheard conversations. I’ve already posted a few from some coworkers in the past, but a friend of mine wanted me to start an Overheard By Andy site since I normally just let all the great stuff I overhear go to waste. A few lucky friends get texts for the real good stuff, but I figure that I can share them with all of you people as well.
The fun part here is that I get to post conversations that I’m a part of, unlike when submitting things to Overheard Everywhere and its sister sites. Though, I guess if you’re a part of the conversation, it’s not really something that you “overheard.” Oh well. The real struggle will be to avoid posting things that are based on inside jokes or that only my friends would get. We’ll see how it goes.
Here are a few ones from work this week:
Coworker: BiffException?!? Who the hell is Biff?!?
Me: Biff Tannen?
Coworker: Why is he in my computer?
Senior Developer: I think I can make this file have 10,000 lines of code in it without even trying.
Me: Is this really where you thought your life would be at this point?
Senior Developer, broken: …shut up
Senior Developer: Munching does nothing!
Me: My stomach is not very happy with me.
Coworker: That’s what pounding hot Cuban gets you!
And here are a few from my friends:
DJ at my radio station during her radio show about relationships: If I lie online and tell men that I’m Asian, they’re going to know as soon as they meet me and they see my GIGANTIC eyeballs.
Drunk friend: I’m afraid of the Easter Bunny!
Sober friend: What’d he do to you?
Drunk friend: He poops!
Drunk friend: You pay $50 and get a bag full of female products!…And I’m not talking about tampons and shit!
Slightly drunk friend from Alaska: I realized I had blacked out when I woke up on top of my sister.
Drunk friend: I have to pee so bad! I almost peed on the corner, but then I remembered I don’t have a penis.
Friend #1: A box is two twisty things and a nail.
Friend #2: That’s what I’m talking about!
I saw this while I was on my way to this sweet Cuban place for lunch today. It has been submited to failblog.org.
Ok, the first one isn’t entirely just an overheard conversation, but still good!
Coworker #1: What are you talking about?
Me: I’m telling them how my parents almost aborted me.
Coworker #2 walks in: What are you guys talking about?
Coworker #1: It’s a survival story!
Coworker: They say Micheal Phelps is a good swimmer, but I say screw that, we’re all great swimmers! Do you know how far we all had to swim? And then you get there and you have to bust through a zygote head first! That takes stamina!
I’m a relatively new fan of Mike Birbiglia, but I’ve gotten really into his comedy lately. My girlfriend and I probably end up listening to Two Drink Mike at least once a week in the car and quote it and use parts of it in at least half of the conversations that we have. It’s more than likely a little beyond ridiculous at this point. So we were both excited when we found out that we would be able to go see his new show, Sleepwalk With Me, to celebrate our anniversary.
Tickets were a bit on the expensive side, especially considering he’s the only one on stage and it’s basically just him doing stand-up for an hour and a half, but it was worth it and since our seats were right in the front row, I can’t complain too much.
The show is essentially one long story about his experiences with Rapid eye movement disorder which causes him to sleepwalk a lot and get into all kinds of crazy situations. That said, he spends much more time going off on tangents throughout the show than actually talking about the specific incidences he has had sleepwalking. This isn’t really a bad thing though.
For anyone that is a fan of his other comedy work, you’ll probably recognize a few jokes that he reuses. This doesn’t really take away from the show at all. Even the jokes you’ve heard already are as hilarious as the ones you hear for the first time. Though, I think one of the most entertaining parts of the show is how awkward his mannerisms are. He calls himself out on Two Drink Mike for making most situations awkward and after you see him on stage and in person, you’ll completely understand.
Here’s a clip of him doing a short segment from the show on his recent appearance on Conan…
PS: Mike, I know you’ll be reading this thanks to Google Alerts. Leave a comment.
I found these pictures on www.englishrussia.com. It’s a weird site, but every once in a while, there’s a gem that needs to be shared. Anyone got any captions?
“Sir, are you awake that it is illegal to drive while under the influence of bubbles?”
“Radio, I need and ID on a tub…yes, tub…no, like for bathing.”
“This tubmobile lets me sleep in an extra 15 minutes!”
“Being pulled over while in a bathtube is even worse than being pulled over while parked.”
I just made my first GrapJam submission. I hope they accept it!
And I’ve got more where this came from!